What to Ask Your Older Relatives This Thanksgiving

If you feel like you don’t know what to say to your older relatives, maybe you’re not asking the right questions. This Thanksgiving, think about bringing not only a dish to share, but also a few questions to inspire your grandparents, great-grandparents, and other relatives to share their stories.

If you don’t know where to start, eldercare resource site A Place for Mom lists 20 questions to ask your older relatives, including:

• “What did you want to be when you grew up?”
• “How did you meet your spouse?” (You might want to personalize that one a little bit.)
• “What life advice would you pass on to your grandchildren?”

Family Tree Magazine also has a 20-question list, including:

• “Tell me about the day your first child was born.” (Again, you’ll need to personalize these before you say them aloud.)
• “Who are some of your heroes?”
• “Tell me about some of the places where you’ve been happiest.”

You can also ask older relatives what their Thanksgivings were like when they were children (chances are they’ll have lots of stories about family gatherings and favorite foods) or if they’d like to tell the table when they first started making their now-traditional holiday dish. Theming the questions and fitting them naturally into the flow of dialogue can work a lot better than pulling a big open-ended question out of nowhere—unless, of course, you’d like to sit a relative down for a one-on-one interview.

There are three good reasons to ask grandparents and great-aunts lots of questions over the Thanksgiving holiday. The first reason, and the most important one, is that it helps you connect to loved ones whom you might not see on a regular basis. If you feel awkward talking to your older relatives, asking good questions could lead you into an unforgettable conversation.

The second reason is that these stories won’t last forever. A lot of families put their holiday energy into photographing and recording the youngest attendees, but it’s equally rewarding to turn the camera on a great-grandparent and capture some of their memories for future generations of the family to enjoy.

The third reason—which might be the real life hack here—is that asking older relatives thoughtful questions about their lives gives everyone at the table less time to ask nosy questions about yours.

What are your favorite questions to ask older relatives over the holidays? Have you ever asked a question that led to a particularly memorable conversation or insight? Are there any questions people should avoid?

from Lifehacker https://ift.tt/2KWUix6

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