This post is part of our “Big Talks” series—a guide to helping parents navigate the most important conversations they’ll have with their kids. Read more here.

It is one of the most universal of parenting fears, a necessary evil we cannot shield our kids from for long because we know they will have to live and work in this world as adults. I am talking, of course, about the internet. From the time they’re toddling around and trying to pry our own phones out of our hands, to their teenage days, when much of their social life happens online, we’ve got precious few years to teach our kids how to navigate the online world as safely as possible.

For help on how to do that, I spoke with Devorah Heitner, author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World and the upcoming book Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World. I’ll also provide some additional resources for each age group along the way.

Teaching preschoolers about online safety

Even before they’re old enough to be texting with friends, posting on social media, or gaming on servers with strangers around the world, it’s important to start modeling healthy tech use. The first thing to recognize with preschoolers, Heitner says, is that we are using technology in front of them all the time. They know we’re taking pictures and videos of them on our phones, they see us scrolling endlessly while they’re splashing in the bathtub, and they may even bring our phones to us when we leave them in another room because they know how important that device is.

“It’s really important, at that age especially, to recognize how much we’re modeling our own digital behaviors and connections,” she says.

And we should think about what we’re not modeling, too. Parents in their 30s or older likely grew up with a family landline phone that everyone used and communicated through in a much more public way than we do today. Without even realizing it, our parents were modeling to us some basic phone and communication norms and manners.

“We got a lot of communication practice by osmosis, and kids aren’t getting that now,” Heitner says. Because of that, she recommends parents start to teach those manners at a young age, starting with talking about how we say “hello” at the beginning of a call and “goodbye” when it’s time to go (and don’t wander off mid-way through). We can start to teach them why we can’t call someone when it’s too late or too early, or when we might want to call versus texting or Facetiming someone, and ages 4 or 5 is not too young to start to impart those lessons, Heitner says.

Modeling healthy tech-use habits and communication skills early on—before they have smart devices of their own—will provide a good foundation for when they do start to navigate apps, games, and chats in later years.

Resource:

Teaching kids ages 5-8 about online safety

The early elementary years are often when kids begin to have a bit more freedom to watch videos, play games, and communicate with friends and family members. One of the first things to stress to kids this age, Heitner says, is that if they come across anything online that is upsetting or scary, they should come to you about it—and, most importantly, reassure them they won’t be in trouble for doing so.

“We really don’t want to scare kids away from reporting,” she says. “So we have to make sure we’re being very clear that they’re not in trouble, but they need to let us know.”

Content is one thing to talk to kids about, but there are three other “C’s” of online safety to be aware of and to teach your kids about, according to Australian parenting website Raising Children:

• Contact risks: These risks include children coming into contact with people they don’t know or with adults posing as children online. For example, a child might be persuaded to share personal information with strangers, provide contact details after clicking on pop-up messages, or meet in person with someone they’ve met online.
• Conduct risks: These risks include children acting in ways that might hurt others, or being the victim of this kind of behavior. For example, a child might destroy a game that a friend or sibling has created. Another conduct risk is accidentally making in-app purchases.
• Contract risks: These risks include children signing up to unfair contracts, terms or conditions that they aren’t aware of or don’t understand. For example, children might click a button that allows a business to send them inappropriate marketing messages or collect their personal or family data. Or children might use a toy, app or device with weak internet security, which leaves them open to identity theft or fraud.

It’s key to set rules and standards for what kids can do online from the moment they start navigating the internet (not only after something negative happens)—and you can get that rolling by creating a family media plan together. Repeatedly stress the importance of keeping private information, like their full name and where they live, private from people they’ve never met “in real life.”

Heitner also suggests at this age (and into the tween years ahead) that parents set an expectation that there will be a waiting period for any new app or game your child requests to download—that’s to give you time to research it and decide whether it’s appropriate for them.

“Unless you already know [the app] really well, they’re never gonna get an automatic green light,” she says. “That’s a good habit to build in so that they’re also expecting to have a kind of a training-wheels period with new things, where maybe they’re using it in a more restricted or limited way. And then they might get to have more carte blanche later on when you feel more confident that they’re using it in ways that are appropriate, and that you understand what the possibilities are.”

Resources:

Teaching tweens about online safety

By the time your kid is in the 9- to 12-year-old age range, you’ve hopefully had many years of discussing those four C’s (content, contact, conduct, and contract), and you’ll keep building upon those conversations, particularly in the lead-up to the purchase of their first smartphone. At this age, they often have their own devices and use the internet much more independently, so these continued conversations become increasingly important as they become more likely to come across material that is sexually explicit, violent, or otherwise harmful. Raising Children recommends talking to your kids about ways to restrict the content they can see, such as using safe search settings on a browser.

Around fifth or sixth grade is when Heitner says a lot of kids start wanting to text with friends and family, whether on their own phone or through a shared family device like an iPad. It’s important here, too, to talk through potential scenarios they may encounter, and how they might handle them. To get them thinking more critically about texting, she suggests asking them things like:

• What would you do if you’re on a group text and someone says they want to restart the group text without you?
• What will you do if someone says something mean about a teacher or another friend?
• What could you say to a friend who is texting you too much, and you need a break?

Heitner also strongly recommends that tweens start texting before they start joining any social media apps.

“Ideally, kids have six months or a year on just texting at minimum before social media—and maybe even more time if they’re texting at a younger age—because texting is its own world of challenges,” she says. “I really want kids to get comfortable there before they go to Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok, or basically any account that’s more public.”

And again, it’s important to put ground rules for use in place before they get that first phone, not after you suddenly catch them using it in the middle of the night because you haven’t established a “no devices in your room at bedtime” rule.

Resources:

Teaching teens about online safety

By the teenage years, most kids are handling a tremendous amount of communication with their friends online. And, as Heitner points out, we’re not the middleman to that communication the way our own parents were when our friends called the house phone. In that way, our parents had a better sense of who we were talking to on a regular basis than we do with our kids.

“So we want to be checking in with them about who they’re communicating with, and how it’s going,” she says. “We also want to ask whether they feel confident asserting a boundary if someone asks them for a nude picture—do they feel confident to say no? Or if someone sends them an unbidden nude picture, do they understand that that’s a reportable problem, not just something that’s annoying?”

Heitner says when she thinks about online safety for kids this age, she’s thinking mostly about emotional safety and mental health safety. “A lot of kids are using location-sharing [with their friends], and they may want to turn that off,” she says. “They should certainly be honest with themselves about how it feels; it can trigger a lot of feelings to see that your friends are doing things without you, and it may not be helpful. I think just helping kids self-reflect and self-regulate around what they are experiencing with specific apps and with specific people is important.”

Talking to teenagers about the way an app’s algorithm serves up new content to them is important, too, as is discussing what sources they are using to get information they trust.

“For example, if you’re looking at fitness content, adjacent to that may be diet content, and diet content is toxic; it’s not safe for kids, so we might say, ‘maybe don’t get your fitness routines here,’” Heitner says. “Also, Reddit and Quora are filled with misinformation; we want to help kids embrace the natural skepticism of adolescence, and doing that in a way that turns them on to media literacy, and in a way that doesn’t make them feel like dupes.”

And of course, we need to talk to our teenagers about the types of communication they’re having with people they don’t know, particularly if they’re spending a lot of time in places like Discord.

“We should dive a little deeper into it with our kids to make sure that they’re not in heavy communication with adults they don’t know, or even peers they don’t know who may be harmful,” Heitner says. “[Discord] is a place where kids are meeting strangers and sometimes building community and that can be cool, but we want to be somewhat cautious about that. I’m not opposed to teenagers connecting with people they don’t know online for any reason. I don’t think strangers are always ‘danger,’ but I do think strangers need to be approached in a different way than somebody you’ve met in person at school or at an activity.”

Resource:

from Lifehacker https://ift.tt/8tZBA5h

Separating whites from colors was once a necessity. We separated whites so we could bleach them, and washed colors in cold water to protect them from running and fading. Clothes were expensive, as were washers and dryers, and care was taken with both. Since laundry habits are typically passed down through the family and not through school, if your grandparents separated clothes for the laundry, chances are your parents did too. But do you need to? As it turns out, no, you don’t.

Why people stopped sorting laundry

To be clear, there is some benefit in the long run to continuing to pre-sort and wash separately, according to most laundry experts. But we should quantify how much benefit. There’s no actual threat to your clothes or machines by washing everything together—the life of your clothes may be shortened slightly, but that’s all. Since most of the clothes we wear are now a byproduct of fast fashion, there’s less investment into each piece, and they’re not really built for the long haul the way clothes once were, anyways.

Also, the natural fibers and dyes that used to be mainstream have been long replaced by synthetic fibers and better dye processes, which result in much more colorfast garments. These garments also generally stand up to wash processes better. Advancements in detergents also focused on using less of it, stopping colors from fading, keeping whites bright, and washing everything in cold water to save on energy. As a result, laundry in general is a much gentler on clothes.

It seems that Millennials have caught on, like this viral twitter thread resulting in many revealing that they, too, have stopped separating laundry. But there’s one surprising exception to the “just throw it all in together” approac.

Why you should still wash your athletic gear separately

Performance wear is likely treated to be water repellant, and often needs a special detergent that I bet you aren’t using, because this was all news to me. But it makes sense, when you think about it—our sports wear is likely the grossest clothes we throw in the wash, and they’re also likely to be some of the more expensive clothes we own. Look for anything with a label that says “moisture-wicking,” “breathable,” or “high-endurance,” and make sure to separate that stuff from the rest of your laundry. And if you can, spring for the sports wash.

Some popular laundry detergents designed for active wear:

from Lifehacker https://ift.tt/wrRTeCy

In this detailed article about academic plagiarism are some interesting details about how to do data forensics on Excel files. It really needs the graphics to understand, so see the description at the link.

(And, yes, an author of a paper on dishonesty is being accused of dishonesty. There’s more evidence.)

from Schneier on Security https://ift.tt/t5lbMZV

Some hacks become so notorious that they acquire a definite article, even if the word THE ends up attached to a very general technical term.

For example, you can probably trot out the names of dozens of well-known internet worms amongst the millions that exist in the zoos maintained by malware collectors.

NotPetya, Wannacry, Stuxnet, Conficker, Slammer, Blaster, CodeRed and Happy99 are just a few from the past couple of decades.

But if you say THE internet worm, then everyone knows that you mean the Great Worm of November 1988 – the one written by Robert Morris, student son of Robert Morris of the US National Security Agency, that ended with Morris Junior getting three years of probation, 400 hours of community service and a $10,050 fine:

And if you say THE Twitter hack, everyone knows you mean the one that happened in July 2020, when a small group of cybercriminals ended up in control of a small number of Twitter accounts and used them to talk up a cryptocoin fraud.

But what accounts they were, as we wrote a year later, including Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Kanye West, Joe Biden, Barack Obama, Jeff Bezos, Mike Bloomberg, Warren Buffett, Benjamin Netanyahu, Kim Kardashian, and Apple (yes, THE Apple):

One of the suspects in that case was Joseph O’Connor, then 21, who wasn’t in the US, and who eluded US authorities for a further year until he was arrested on the Costa del Sol in Spain in July 2021:

Off to prison at last

O’Connor was ultimatly extradited to the US in April 2023, pleaded guilty in May 2023, and was sentenced last week.

He wasn’t convicted only of the Twitter cryptocoin scam we mentioned above, where high profile accounts were used to trick people into sending “investments” to users they assumed were people such as Gates, Musk, Buffett and others.

He was also convicted of:

• Using a SIM-swap trick to steal about $794,000 in cryptocurrency. SIM swaps are where a criminal sweet-talks, bribes or coerces a mobile phone provider into issuing them with a “replacment” SIM card for someone else’s number, typically under the guise of wanting to buy a new phone or urgently needing to replace a lost SIM. The victim’s SIM card goes dead, and the crook starts receiving their calls and text messages, notably including any two-factor authentication (2FA) codes needed for secure logins or password resets. By taking over the SIMs of three staff members at a cryptocurrency company, O’Connor and others drained nearly $0.8m in cryptocoins from corporate wallets.
• Using a similar trick to take over two celebrity Tik Tok accounts and threaten the account holders. O’Connor “stated publicly, via a post to [the first victim’s] TikTok account, that he would release sensitive, personal material,” and “threatened to publicly release […] stolen sensitive materials unless [the second victim] agreed to publicly post messages [promoting O’Connor’s] online persona, among other things.”
• Stalking and threatening a minor. O’Conner “swatted” the victim, meaning that he called law enforcement claiming to be the victim and saying “he was planning to kill multiple people at his home,” as well as calling in the guise of someone else who claimed that “the [third victim] was making threats to shoot people.” The same day O’Connor also made similar “swat” calls to that same day to a high school, a restaurant, and a sheriff’s department in the same area. The following month, he “called multiple family members of [the third victim] and threatened to kill them.”

Swatting gets its name because the usual reaction of US law enforcement to a call claiming that a shooting is imminent is to send a so-called Special Weapons and Tactics (SWAT) team to deal with the situation, rather than expecting a regular patrol officer to stop by and investigate.

As the US Department of Justice describes it:

A “swatting” attack occurs when an individual makes a false emergency call to a public authority in order to cause a law enforcement response that may put the victim or others in danger.

O’Connor was convicted of multiple offences: conspiracy to commit computer intrusions, conspiracy to commit wire fraud, conspiracy to commit money laundering, making extortive communications, stalking, and making threatening communications.

He received a five-year prison sentence, followed by three years of supervised release, and he was ordered to pay $794,012.64 in forfeiture. (What happens if he can’t or won’t pay, we don’t know.)

What to do?

SIM swaps are tricky to protect against, because the final decision to authorise a replacement SIM card is down to your mobile phone company (or the staff in one of its stores), not to you yourself.

But the following tips can help:

• Consider switching away from SMS-based 2FA if you haven’t already. One-time login codes based on text messages are better than no 2FA at all, but they clearly suffer from the weakness that a scammer who decides to target you can attack your account indirectly via your mobile provider instead of directly via you. App-based 2FA generally depends on a code sequence generated by an app on your phone, so you don’t even need a SIM card or a network connection on your phone.
• Use a password manager if you can. In some SIM-swap attacks, the crooks go after your SIM card because they already know your password, and are getting stuck at your second factor of authentication. A password manager helps to stymie the crooks right at the start, getting them stuck right at your first factor of authentication instead.
• Watch out if your phone goes dead unexpectedly. After a SIM swap, your phone won’t show any connection to your mobile provider. If you have friends on the same network who are still online, this suggests that it’s probably you who is offline and not the whole network. Consider contacting your phone company for advice. If you can, visit a phone shop in person, with ID, to find out if your account has been taken over.

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from Naked Security https://ift.tt/2QKYoda

Databricks has entered into a definitive agreement to acquire MosaicML, a generative AI platform.

Together, Databricks and MosaicML will make generative AI accessible for every organization, enabling them to build, own and secure generative AI models with their own data. The transaction is valued at approximately $1.3 billion, inclusive of retention packages.

MosaicML is known for its state-of-the-art MPT large language models (LLMs). With over 3.3 million downloads of MPT-7B and the recent release of MPT-30B, MosaicML has showcased how organizations can quickly build and train their own state-of-the-art models using their data in a cost-effective way.

Customers such as AI2 (Allen Institute for AI), Generally Intelligent, Hippocratic AI, Replit and Scatter Labs leverage MosaicML for a wide variety of generative AI use cases.

“Every organization should be able to benefit from the AI revolution with more control over how their data is used. Databricks and MosaicML have an incredible opportunity to democratize AI and make the Lakehouse the best place to build generative AI and LLMs,” said Ali Ghodsi, CEO, Databricks. “Databricks and MosaicML’s shared vision, rooted in transparency and a history of open source contributions, will deliver value to our customers as they navigate the biggest computing revolution of our time.”

Giving organizations a simple way to build, own and secure models

Today, virtually every organization is exploring how best to use generative AI and LLMs, and every leader is considering how they leverage these new innovations while retaining control of their most precious resource: their data. Organizations and executives want to be able to build, own and secure their own models.

The Databricks Lakehouse Platform, combined with MosaicML’s technology, will offer customers a simple, fast way to retain control, security, and ownership over their valuable data without high costs.

According to MosaicML, automatic optimization of model training provides 2x-7x faster training compared to standard approaches. Combined with near linear scaling of resources, multi-billion-parameter models can be trained in hours, not days. With Databricks and MosaicML, training and using LLMs will cost thousands of dollars, not millions.

Databricks’ unified Data and AI platform combined with MosaicML’s generative AI training capabilities will provide a platform robust enough to serve the world’s largest organizations and flexible enough to address a broad range of AI use cases.

Databricks and MosaicML’s shared vision

The entire MosaicML team, including MosaicML’s research team, is expected to join Databricks after the transaction closes. MosaicML’s machine learning and neural networks specialists conduct pioneering AI research to improve model training efficiency. The team is behind some of today’s most popular and advanced open-source foundation models, such as MPT-30B, as well as the training algorithms powering MosaicML’s products.

MosaicML’s platform will be supported, scaled, and integrated over time to offer customers a seamless unified platform where they can build, own and secure their generative AI models. Databricks and MosaicML will give customers greater choice in building their own models, training models with their own unique data, and creating differentiating IP for their businesses.

“At MosaicML, we believe in a world where everyone is empowered to build and train their own models, imbued with their own opinions and viewpoints — and joining forces with Databricks will help us make that belief a reality,” said Naveen Rao, CEO, MosaicML.

“We started MosaicML to solve the hard engineering and research problems necessary to make large scale training more accessible to everyone. With the recent generative AI wave, this mission has taken center stage. Together with Databricks, we will tip the scales in the favor of many — and we’ll do it as kindred spirits: researchers turned entrepreneurs sharing a similar mission. We look forward to continuing this journey together with the AI community,” added Rao.

from Help Net Security https://ift.tt/Yz6US5Z

This post is part of our “Big Talks” series—a guide to helping parents navigate the most important conversations they’ll have with their kids. Read more here.

Sex is perhaps the biggest of all the parenting “talks” we need to have with our kids. Certainly we’d much rather they learn about sex from us than from friends, the internet, or pop culture. And the best way to do it—and get over our own awkwardness about it—is to introduce the language and concepts early and build on them over the years in age-appropriate ways. Gone are the days of The Talk; now we’re in the era of micro-talks.

From the moment they’re toddling around and we’re teaching them the anatomically correct terms for body parts, to when they’re teenagers who need to be well-versed in consent and sexual violence, we can build upon their knowledge without overwhelming them. Here’s how to talk about sex with kids of any age.

How to talk to babies and toddlers about sex

OK, you’re not talking to babies and toddlers about sex, per se. But even before they’re verbal, you should be talking to them about their bodies using anatomically correct words like penis, vulva, vagina, and nipples, the same way you use words like leg, arm, hand, and foot. This is language they need to have if they are to communicate with you or a doctor about health issues or injuries, and they’ll have the words to describe any sexually inappropriate act they may experience at some point.

Nadine Thornhill, a Toronto-based sex educator, tells Today’s Parent that parents of kids this age should also avoid connecting sexual biology to gender:

For example, drop the idea that all boys have penises and all girls have vaginas. Instead say, “People with penises” or “People with vaginas.” Thornhill explains that by watching your language now, you set the groundwork for easier conversations about gender roles and identities later.

How to talk to preschoolers about sex

Building upon that early language, the ages of 2-5 are prime time for laying the foundation for kids to understand physical boundaries and consent. You shouldn’t force your child to hug (or otherwise show physical affection for) anyone—not even Great Aunt Margaret, who is pretty insistent about getting that goodbye kiss. It’s important to establish that they are in control of their own body. As we’ve previously written:

It lays the groundwork for a strong understanding of consent, and can influence a kid’s relationship with her body—by telling her that she’s in control of who she hugs, you’re also telling her that her body is hers, not for serving other people’s feelings.

Parents should also be teaching their kids to ask for permission before touching someone else. One easy way to do this is by modeling it yourself, such as by asking for permission before tickling them—and stopping as soon as they say to stop. And at this age, we should also be explaining that no one should ever ask to or try to touch their genitals. (Here’s a guide for teaching kids the difference between secrets, privacy, and surprises.)

This is also the age to start teaching them about personal privacy. It’s normal for a toddler to touch their own genitals, but you can gently explain that while it’s perfectly OK to explore their own body, it should be done in the privacy of their bedroom or a bathroom. Explain when it’s appropriate to be naked (in the bathtub, or during a doctor’s exam with a parent present), and when it’s not.

Finally, at this age, kids might ask where babies from for the first time. Here’s what Cory Silverberg, a sex educator and author of What Makes a Baby, tells Today’s Parent:

“The amount of detail one goes into really depends on how much you think your child can comprehend.” If your child wants more information, you might try something like, “Two grown-ups get their bodies together and share the sperm and the egg to make a child like you, or sometimes they get the sperm or egg from someone else.” Silverberg adds that it’s fine to tell your child that some details, like how sperm and egg meet, will be discussed later. “It’s just important not to lie.” He adds that it’s important to actually follow up with those questions and not just refuse to talk about certain things.

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Read these books from Cory Silverberg:

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How to talk to kids ages 6-8 about sex

At this age, you should continue to build upon those early conversations about consent, privacy, and sexual abuse. The Committee for Children has a “Hot Chocolate Talk” campaign that includes a conversation-starter guide for talking to kids ages 6-8 about sexual abuse, which is a great place to start. In addition, you’ll want to start talking about online safety (here’s a guide for that) to establish the rules early on about talking to strangers online, and about sharing photos and personal information. This will protect them as they get older and begin have more unsupervised time in digital spaces.

If you haven’t yet, it’s probably also time to explain the actual mechanics of sex. In Today’s Parents, Silverberg suggests incorporating a good book that will help anticipate your child’s questions; sex education expert and author Shafia Zaloom has compiled this list of her favorites for Common Sense Media. It’s also helpful to look for everyday moments you can use to jumpstart these conversations, such as when a friend or family member announces a pregnancy. You can ask your child what they know about how babies are made and answer any questions they have in a straightforward and age-appropriate way.

Talking about sex can be a natural segue to talking about puberty, too—especially if you start to see signs that it’s approaching early or if they’ve got friends who are beginning to experience it. (Some girls start puberty as early as 8 years old, and some boys start as early as 9, according to KidsHealth, so you may need to begin having these conversations earlier than you think.) Parents should make sure to talk with girls about menstruation before they start their period so they won’t be scared by the sight and location of the blood when it begins.

Parents should also keep in mind that while kids will get some sex education in school, boys and girls are often taught separately, with the conversation geared toward what they’ll experience. It’s important to make sure we’re filling in the gaps so girls understand the changes boys are going through, and vice versa.

How to talk to tweens about sex

If you haven’t talked to tweens about puberty yet, it’s time to start. Books are helpful here, too: American Girl’s The Care & Keeping of You covers topics like bras, periods, and hair care, and Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys gives tips and facts from pediatrician Cara Natterson on topics including voice changes, bad breath, shaving, and acne.

At this age, tweens should have a fairly clear understanding of what sex is and that it can lead to pregnancy or STDs. It’s important to explain the risks of having sex and have conversations about how to make safer choices. Planned Parenthood recommends thinking through these things before you begin:

Before you talk, think about your values and what you want for your kids: when do you believe it’s okay for them to do sexual things, like kissing and touching? How much further into the future will you think it’s ok for them to think about having sex? What milestones will you want them to reach before having sex (be in a loving relationship, be prepared with birth control and condoms, be in a certain grade or out of school, etc.)? Knowing exactly where you stand helps you send clear messages during these conversations.

It’s important to make sure preteens know that masturbation is completely normal and OK (as long as they do it in private). Don’t say anything that might make them feel shame or guilt about masturbating. If you’re not already knocking before you enter their bedroom, this is the time to start. And if you do walk in on them masturbating, Planned Parenthood suggests simply saying, “Sorry, I should have knocked,” and then tell them later that you’ll be more careful about their privacy in the future.

At this age, you should also start talking about sexism and sexualization—examples of those abound in media and within your own community once you really start looking for them. As we’ve previously written:

As kids grow up, we should empower boys and girls alike to look for instances of sexism and gender discrimination—and speak up when they see them. And both boys and girls should be encouraged to actively support women’s equality. Bonding with your daughter by, say, attending a women’s march is great—but it’s even better to bring her dad and her brother along, too.

And finally, yes, it may seem young, but you need to talk to them about not sharing nude or sexually explicit photos of themselves and you need to talk to them about porn. As we’ve covered, most kids stumble upon porn online during these years, and you want them to know what it is before that happens. Much like actors play characters on their favorite TV shows, explain that people who have sex on camera are acting. What they’re seeing isn’t sex between couples who love or care for each other, and it’s not typical of a loving, committed relationship.

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Two of the best books for tweens about puberty:

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How to talk to teenagers about sex

By the time kids reach their teenage years, we’re coming back around to where we began all those years ago: This is the time to really focus on the consent component of sex. As we’ve previously written:

Outline what “affirmative consent” looks like—remember, the mantra is no longer “no means no” but “yes means yes.” Tell your teens they should be looking for enthusiasm in a partner, and nothing less. Use TV shows and movies as conversation starters—today, ‘80s films like Sixteen Candles can feel icky and outdated, but they can also be a launching pad for deeper discussions about topics such as the myth of the “hard to get” woman, the role of alcohol, and how bystanders enable bad behavior.

It’s also important for teenagers to have “sexual competence.” The goal is that by the time they have sex for the first time, we’ve done all we can as parents to help them really feel ready, in terms of protection, consent, safety, and timing. You should also have conversations with them about sexual violence, including about the importance of bystander intervention and what to do if they see someone at risk.

from Lifehacker https://ift.tt/ZLQ96fc

The compromise of PBI Research and The Berwyn Group’s MOVEit installation has resulted in the theft of data belonging to several pension systems and insurance companies – and millions of their users.

PBI + Berwyn Group – a population management provider – was hit in May, through a (then) zero-day vulnerability in the popular managed file transfer solution. The database(s) connected to the vulnerable systems contained data of many organizations, including CalPERS, CalSTRS, Genworth Financial, and Wilton Reassurance.

PBI notified its clients and implemented measures to minimize any potential harm, and the affected organizations have started sharing what the breach means for its users.

The fallout from the PBI Research MOVEit compromise

CalPERS – the California Public Employees’ Retirement System, which is also the largest pension system in the US – says that personal information of approximately 769,000 members has been compromised. All of them will receive notification letters regarding the impacted personal information and will be provided with free access to credit monitoring for a period of two years.

“PBI provides services to CalPERS to identify member deaths. These services ensure that proper payments are made to retirees and beneficiaries and prevent instances of overpayments or other errors,” CalPERS noted.

CalSTRS, the California State Teachers’ Retirement System, is yet to identify whether any members have been affected by the incident, but it assured clients that threat actors did not access CalSTRS’ network.

On June 7, BPI alerted Wilton Reassurance – an insurance provider – about the incident in MOVEit Transfer.

According to the data breach notification Wilton Reassurance sent to the Office of the Maine Attorney General, the breach affected 1,482,490 of its customers, and the compromised information included their names and social security numbers.

The same incident also impacted policy holders and agents of life insurance company Genworth.

“PBI Research Services, or PBI, is a third-party vendor that Genworth uses to satisfy regulatory obligations to scan social security data to determine whether a customer may have passed and triggered death benefits under a life insurance policy or annuity contract. We also partner with PBI to identify deaths across our other lines of insurance and insurance agents to whom we pay commissions,” the company explained.

“The event included personal information for approximately ~2.5-2.7 million individuals who are either customers or insurance agents. The personal information accessed included life insurance, individual long-term care insurance, and annuity customers. We are working to understand what personal information related to our group long-term care products may have been affected. For policyholders, the exposed information includes: social security number, name, date of birth, zip code, state of residence, and policy number. For agents, the exposed information includes the agent ID, name, date of birth, and full address.”

from Help Net Security https://ift.tt/0Bdt3EK