How to Make Eggnog Even Better

It may shock you to learn this, but I am a woman of several shortcomings. Some are real, some exist merely in my mind. One that always bothered me was my inability to enjoy eggnog. As a lover of cream, eggs, booze, and seasonal fun, it sounded like something I would like, yet I always found the mouthfeel extremely displeasing.

Until I found an eggnog I really, really liked. Unsurprisingly, it’s a Jeffrey Morgenthaler recipe. Jeff, who manages Portland’s Clyde Tavern (formerly known as “Clyde Common”), is very good at making drinks I like. Somewhat surprisingly, this ‘nog features tequila. Jeff’s recipe makes a lot of eggnog (about a gallon)—too much for a one-person household (I can’t even share it with my boyfriend, as he does not drink), so I usually enjoy a single glass while sitting on a barstool at Clyde.

Unfortunately, barstool sitting is not something I can do a lot of right now—I need an easy way to enjoy a ‘nog at home. I don’t want to be a finicky, fussy eggnog drinker, you see. I want to be the kind of person who enjoys a carton of the store-bought stuff. To make this dream a reality, I started thinking about Jeff’s eggnog, and what I liked about it. In addition to all the tequila and sherry, the main thing I enjoyed about Jeff’s ‘nog was its light, almost airy texture. Instead of reading as thick and gloppy, it comes across as smooth and creamy. It would follow then, that the key to making crappy, gloopy eggnog taste like fancy eggnog is air.

How does one add air to their eggnog? Easy, just shake it like you would a cocktail, preferably on one very large rock. The ice agitates (adding air) and dilutes (adding water), and the result is a lighter, fluffier eggnog that’s infinitely easier to drink. At least that’s what I thought would happen. You’ll have to watch the video above to see if I’m correct. (Hint: I am, obviously.)

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