Sometimes, interruptions are necessary—like if someone’s pointless speech at an awards show rambles on too long. But most of the time, interruptions that involve one person talking over another are rude and aggravating. And unfortunately, some people are chronic interrupters; no matter how many times someone points out what they’re doing, they never actually stop.
Fortunately for us, writer and podcast producer Rose Eveleth—a frequent interview and interviewee—knows a thing or two about interrupters, and has shared a few tips for dealing with them. Here’s what to know.
How to respond when someone won’t stop talking over you
Along with Eveleth, we also have to thank the Recomendo newsletter, which featured her strategies in a recent edition. And here they are:
Forget subtlety
You won’t get anywhere being polite or subtle, so don’t wait around for the other person to realize what they’re doing. (They won’t.)
Don’t wait for a pause
Twice Eveleth points out that when you’re dealing with an interrupter, there are no pauses in the conversation—so you shouldn’t wait for one, or assume it will come eventually. (It won’t.) Instead, she offers this solid tip:
“Start your sentence just before your partner has ended theirs,” she writes. “Do not wait for them to actually end their sentence. Do not let them pause and think ‘am I truly done?’ Because the answer is always no.”
Question sneak attack
Interrupt the person speaking over you, saying “Jim (or whatever their name is), can I ask you something?” They’ll probably welcome the chance to talk even more and explain something to you. When they pause for your question, launch right into whatever you were saying before or want to say now.
Name drop
Can’t get a word in edgewise? Start saying (and repeating) the interrupter’s name. (e.g.“Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.”) According to Eveleth, this is effective because it draws attention to the fact that someone is talking over you, and using their name makes it clear that you are addressing them, specifically.
At some point, they’ll have to acknowledge you, which then gives you the chance to speak, and point out that they’ve been talking over you.
Laughter emergency break
As a last resort, Eveleth suggesting laughing audibly when the person talks over you. “Not a little chuckle, a full laugh so that they can hear you,” she writes. “It is incredibly distracting to them, because they have no idea what is funny, and can fluster them enough to throw them off their train.”
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